Sometimes I'm just obnoxious. I try to pinpoint these situations and at the very least understand them, even if I choose not to actively pursue an immediate change.
Lately, I've noticed my most obnoxious behavior is my 'disdainful sideways glance'. I do this primarily when I'm running and I pass a stroller, or a pregnant lady, or a kid at the park with his parents. Oddly, I don't do this when I'm in my daily life at the grocery store, the mall etc. (Okay, maybe occasionally).
I think it started because a lady with more kids than hands was walking on the path I run along. A kid broke loose straight into my path requiring me to either run him down or completely stop and step out of the way. I stopped. But then the disdainful sideways glance happened as I wordlessly (I might have huffed, my music is loud) resumed my run. What any onlooker, and likely the mother, would have thought it that it showed the distaste of a yuppie dink who is annoyed with the disorganized mother who interfered with her day with her loud and disorderly children.
My 'dsg', as I'll go ahead and nickname it, seems to be my latest defense mechanism. I don't know why I can't seem to get it under control on my run. Maybe it's because I hate running (only sometimes), maybe it's because I couldn't run while I was pregnant, more likely it's because I wish I was pushing a baby runner and struggling through that first mile like I'd never run one before.
Oddly, those women, the ones running with a stroller, never get the dsg. I dunno why. Maybe it's for the same reason BLM's don't get any jealousy or anger when I find out about their rainbows.
What can I say... greif is ugly. Sometimes so is the griever.