Monday, December 26, 2011

Another Baby, another miscarriage, another path.

I've miscarried again.  I've spent most of the last week curled up in a blanket alternating between crying, drinking and distractions.  I won't claim it's the healthiest response imaginable, but I can imagine worse right now.

We found out early.  We had an ultrasound, we saw a heart beat.  I begged for another one.  They scheduled it, but refused to move it up.  I started bleeding.  I kept bleeding.  We went to the ultrasound, no heartbeat.  I chose to refuse the D&C in favor of expectant management.  I stopped taking the progesterone and within a few days the bleeding and cramping got heavier and my body miscarried naturally, although it's hard to imagine calling the process natural.

There are steps we can take.  Testing, specialists, or we can forget this dream and move on.  Now isn't the time to make those decisions.

I just need 2011 to end.

6 comments:

  1. Hi from ICLW and thanks for stopping by my blog. I'm so sorry for what you are going through right now, and I know how it feels. There is nothing that can take away the sadness, the disbelief, and worst of all, the fear of what the future holds (or doesn't). But you're right - 2012 is a brand new year with brand new opportunities.

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  2. I'm sorry for your loss. 2011 is almost over, hoping 2012 is a better year.

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  3. Visiting from LFCA....so sorry that you've lost your precious baby. I'm hoping that 2012 brings you some much-needed guidance and peace.

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  4. I am so sorry for your loss. Keeping you in my thoughts and prayers. Hoping 2012 is a better year.

    Visiting from LFCA.

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  5. Here from LFCA. I am so, so sorry for your loss. Keeping you in my thoughts, and abiding with you here.

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  6. Thank you for the thoughts. Praying 2012 is indeed a better year.

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