I'm feeling better. We've had more doctors appointment, and I've had more time for things to sink in. I have been feeling a bit like I've fallen through the rabbit's hole into a whole new world that I can't understand completely.
Time and talking to my husband are helping. We're slowly making sense of the what-if's and maybes. I think it's easier for us now that we are much less concerned with my health. This seems to be especially true for my husband. We are both focusing on the fact that we have each other and that matters above all no matter what happens next.
When we celebrated Taylor's birthday, Gavin bought her a stuffed Zebra. It broke my heart into a million pieces. But it reminded me that we are forever changed by her. What happens from here on will always include her for us. If we do someday have a living child or not.
Thank you for keeping us in your thoughts. We're going to be okay, I'm almost sure of it.